- Tell everyone you're fine
- Minimize your symptoms
- Text friends from the bed you don't want to leave
- Throw yourself into work so you don't have to think
- Laugh at jokes you don't find funny
- Tell yourself others have it worse
- Pretend everything is okay, and you'll deal with it later
A person used to struggling alone can be hard to spot. They aren't the kind of person to open up to others when they need help. They are the kind of person who keeps others from knowing they need help at all costs.
Maybe You Know Someone Like This, Maybe It's You
They might look like they have everything together even as burnout creeps in and they feel like they're drowning in their own skin.
A lot of people try to make up for their untreated anxiety, depression, ADHD and/or PTSD by masking their symptoms to fit in. Pretending they have it all together, that nothing is wrong, can temporarily stop the feelings of worthlessness that come from being different.
It doesn't help that our world can seem unforgiving to differences. Experts at masking often start at a young age, after their differences or struggles elicit a negative reaction. Some people may mask because they think their needs will burden others, but masking all the time is stressful, and those habits can spiral to the point a person never asks for help or shows their true self.
The Cost of Masking
While masking and keeping one's struggles to themselves can feel safe, staying closed off is one way to avoid judgement, but it is not healthy. Untold stress can get harder to manage, causing physical and mental health problems.
Masking can lead to burnout and leave a person struggling to do things they love and care for basic needs. When a person spends all their energy trying to be socially appealing, they can struggle to cook or shower.
Burnout can also lead to increased difficulty concentrating, less energy, more depression and anxiety. Physical symptoms can manifest as headaches, trouble with digestion, and muscle tension.
No one has to reach a breaking point to get better.
The Strain on Relationships
Struggling alone can also put stress on others close to the person struggling. When someone tells everyone they're fine, they may resent those close to them for not noticing their struggles or not knowing how to help.
Stress can change how a person views others and themselves.
They may tell themselves they're unworthy of love and isolate from the people in their life.
It's Okay to Ask for Help
A person struggling may want to ask for help, even, but maybe they don't know how. Routines can be easy to get trapped into, but when the routine is harmful, it is time to try to break it before there is no other option due to a crisis. Seeking help as soon as possible can help prevent a crisis.
No one has to reach a breaking point to get better. It may seem easier to ignore problems, but it is okay to not be perfect. Everyone should have the opportunity to be their authentic self. A person may need help to break the habit of constantly masking, but there are some things they can do on their own.
Learn Yourself
Who you are outside of other's expectations.
Open Up to Safe and Trusted People
A close friend, online community, or therapist can be a place to start.
Give Yourself Grace
It is okay to not be perfect.
Work on Rejection Sensitivity
While not everyone will like someone who stops masking, there will still be people who do.
Use Coping Mechanisms
Engaging in interests and journaling can help while a person learns how to break the habit of masking.
There Is Always Hope
While masking can seem easier for a while, it can make things more difficult in the long run. There is no reward for suffering alone, and while a person learns how to break the habit of masking, there is help through the Center of Excellence, where there is personalized mental health care, including therapy, ADHD treatment, psychiatric evaluations and medication management.
Center of Excellence helps those with various mental health struggles and needs and can help those who want to stop struggling alone learn how to truly love their life, not just suffer through it.
One Honest Conversation
Center of Excellence helps those with various mental health struggles and needs and can help those who want to stop struggling alone learn how to truly love their life, not just suffer through it. It may be easier for a person to tell themselves they're strong, they don't need help, but there is true strength in asking for help. It can be difficult for a person to be honest about their situation, but real progress begins with one honest conversation.